I Am Jewelz: Nasty On TheDirty

There are 10 or so websites that I visit daily such as Facebook, Gmail, and TheDirty.

TheDirty.com is a website that basically talks shit on people in different cities. I don't think it's moral what Nik Richie (TheDirty owner) does, but I think it's one of the most entertaining concepts anyone has ever thought of so props to him.

Well, I was browsing through TheDirty the other night and came across a post in the Philadelphia section about some philly dancers. With me being the most well-known dancer in Philly, I wanted to check out who these other girls were. I started reading the comments that people were writing on the post and quickly realized that people were writing about me instead of these girls that I don't even know.

HELLO, just because they are dancers doesn't mean they are MY dancers. Now I'm not saying that these girls were ugly, but I am very picky with the girls that I select to work for me.

The comments kinda pissed me off at first but the more and more I read, the more amusing they became. I don't know who these people are but they are funny in a weird way!

For example:

Because of my lack of slang vocab knowledge I had to google dingleberry and got this...

Dingleberry: A small piece of poo clinging for dear life on an ass hair like it's the gym rope.

*Vomit*

Last I checked, my dancers look like the girls you have wet dreams about. Yes I know you still have wet dream at the age of 48, nothing wrong with it. It's natural.

No, they don't work for me. And please elaborate on how a hooker agency is different from a hooker company. Does the company not take a booking fee? If so, I would recommend all hookers to join a hooker company versus an agency.

Oh that's cute, you are pretending to be me. EW actually read this comment and thought I really did jokingly write it. You better believe I smacked him upside the head for thinking such a thing. If and when I decide to hire crossdressers, I will make sure that I put up a Drag Queen section on my website and make it legit.

Eddie..you need to come out of the closet like ASAP. I love my gays!

Only to trailer trash, wife-beater-wearing, rednecks does dressing well, being well-groomed and being handsome equal to being gay. EW is metrosexual and I LOVE IT. It turns me on like you don't even know. When EW gets his nails buffed and polished it makes me want to throw him into bed and rape him.

First of let's get this straight... I'm an old woman now!! I'm 23 so get your facts straight buddy. Second, I really don't make as much money as people think I do, but EW has a 6 figure salary and make about 7 times the average American income so THAT is why I get to travel around the world.

Third, I realize that I am very fortunate and never take anything he has given to me for granted.

Also, I only know of one escort in the city and no, she does not work for me. If I was a "madame" in the city, I would be driving around in my dream car, a 370z. But I don't even have a damn car! So there! Hmmm...maybe I'm in the wrong business?

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For every nasty comment, there were plenty of nice comments from people who know what I am all about. So thank you to everyone who wrote something nice whoever you are!