Dear Engagement Ring. You are so beautiful and expensive that I am so paranoid wearing you. I refuse to get you wet and I refuse to leave you at home without hiding you in the most inconspicuous place. When will this paranoia end? It's very exhausting constantly thinking about you. I must check my finger 100 times a day to make sure you're still there!
Dear Wizarding World. YOU ARE AMAZING. You have made my wildest fantasies come true. I have been dreaming to spend a day in Harry Potter's shoes since I was a little girl. Thank you, Universal for making my dream come to life. There was nothing better than spending the day roaming Hogsmeade, touring Hogwarts and drinking butter beer. *sigh*
Dear Disney World. *singing* "Now I've had the time of my life. No I never felt like this before. Yes I swear it's the truth, and I owe it all to youuuuuuu". Where else can you tour 8 different countries in 4 hours?? NOWHERE.
Dear Friends and Family. Thank you for all of the Bday wishes!! I felt extra loved this year with the overwhelming emails and messages. I feel like I will age more gracefully because of you lol.
Dear On Demand. You suck balls! You don't work anymore, you are pointless and worthless. How am I supposed to watch the Jersey Shore and Office episodes that I missed if I can't even turn you on. Please stop telling me to call Comcast and go fix yourself!
Dear Facebook Stalker. Stop messaging my friends and family on Facebook and telling them I'm a Craigslist prostitute. First of all, if I HAD to be a prostitute, I would go through a Madame and not Craigslist. Only the ugly prostitutes and transvestites go through Craigslist. Second of all, didn't Craigslist close down their prostitute section because of all of the mental serial killers? And third of all, if I was a prostitute I would take a money bath every night. And I don't...soooo...hah lol. Noone believes youuu.
Dear America Idol. I am forced to watch you every week and and to tell you the truth, the only episodes I find remotely interesting are the first episodes where they show all of the loony bins who think they can actually sing. Once they weed out all of the crazies, the entertainment value of your show plummets severely. In my own humble opinion of course.