July 26, 2009

Beach Day

While tanning on my beach chair today, I people watched for a little bit and noticed 3 beach fashion statements that I just don’t get.

1. The One-Piece Bikini
This has always been my favorite type of bathing suit and I think they are very sexy, but how on Earth do you tan while wearing one? Your tan line would kind of look like you got a hard-on while tanning (If a girl could) and then fell asleep. I just don’t think a skunk stripe going up your belly is very attractive.

2. The Micro Bikini
I’m sure most guys will disagree with me on this one, but I think it’s disgusting when females with huge breasts wear barely there bikini tops. Don’t get me wrong, I think large breasts are beautiful and definitely need to be shown off, but not with a nipple pasty that’s imitating a bikini top! I saw quite a few of these girls on the beach and they all seemed to be in their late 30’s. Can we say “mid-life crisis breast augmentation” show offs!

3. The Saggy Butt
There is absolutely no excuse for girls to have bikini bottoms that look like they have taken a dump in them. With the wonderful invention of the Brazilian-cut and scrunchy-butt bikini bottoms, every girl should have a form fitting bikini bottom at the beach.


Piggy said...

Oh I see how it is. When you're at the beach, you wanna pig out with cheese fries, water ice, and egg sandwiches. But when I wanna get 2 slices of cake at starbucks, you have to ask the barista for a calorie chart so you can tell me how fat I'm gonna get. :-P

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