September 22, 2010

If You Really Knew Me...


I've been watching the MTV show "If You Really Knew Me" recently.

It is a program designed to breakdown stereotypes and unite students in schools. Students from all walks of life gather together in one room. Then each student is assigned to a group where they must reveal something personal about themselves. It's at this point where each student begins their dialog with the words "If you really knew me..."

It went to show that appearances are not always what they seem...

And to breakdown the stereotype that people have set on me, I thought I would post my own..

If you really knew me...
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I do not see my family enough. I love my grandparents so much and need to see them more.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I have a small case of body dysmorphic disorder. When I look in the mirror I see a fat person but when I see myself in photos I look thin.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I have had nose surgery twice. Once to help me breathe and plastic surgery the second time.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I snore sometimes.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that my father's plane disappeared in war and never returned when I was only 5 months old.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I wish I grew up in the 40's or 50's when times were simpler and people valued family.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I only have 6 friends that I consider "real" friends.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I was teased in school up until my last year when I died my hair blonde and got a nose job.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I am afraid that I will never want to have kids and disappoint my future husband.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I am nothing like the person I portray to strangers. I'm actually goofy, sometimes quiet, and down to earth.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I danced ballet for 15 years and had the chance to have a professional career but quit because my health was at risk.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I was engaged at the age of 16.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I am scared to make the move to Miami and to start a new life.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I am a hypochondriac. When I see a disease or virus on TV, I develop a fear of contracting it.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I wish I could support my mom financially and won't be fully happy until I am able to do so.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I take photos of myself not because I am self-obsessed but because I simply enjoy taking photos.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I don't blog because of the attention or money but because it's the easiest way to express my feelings and I love keeping records of my life.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that I tried to kill myself by swallowing over 20 pills and had to have my stomach pumped with charcoal.
  • If you really knew me...You would know that my mom, E.W, and the pups are the three things that keep me going in life. If that balance was to be broken, I don't know how I would continue on.
Ahhh... That felt really good!
So, these are just a few...You should try it.

It does make you realize some things about yourself that you probably hide from most people. I am hoping that because I have put them down in writing that I am able to change some of the things about myself.

Your turn... what would I know... if I really knew YOU??


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