May 12, 2010

I Rant About Men Instead Of Therapy

There is a certain person in the city who up until recently I thought was an OK guy, but now I kind of want to stab him in the face. Oh, how things change quickly. I feel like I'm currently living in an episode of "The Hills" and no one wants their lives compared to that TV show.

So this guy, who will go unnamed (actually, I will call him Meatball coz his head looks like a giant, lumpy meatball), spread some horrible rumors about me a few months ago and every person I have been out with has heard about it one way or another. Thank goodness no one actually believes Meatball, but it's still hurtful and most of all annoying!!

I wish I could just post a photo of this loser. But that would just bring me down to his level. Wait, I have a better idea! Here is a pretty accurate artist's rendition of this guy so that you have a better picture of who I am talking about.

Let me see, he is tall, FAT, semi-long hair for a guy, and is in serious need of a tan (the meatball makes him look tanner than he really is). All of these unfortunate physical traits could potentially be overlooked if he was a genuine guy. But no, he is a total LOSER.

If I lived in New York I probably wouldn't mind a stupid little rumor. But unfortunately, everyone knows everyone in Philadelphia. I can't even go to one restaurant, club, lounge, or bar without EW and I seeing people we know.

I have been trying to keep away from a certain crowd in the city that I call the "trouble crowd". You know, the people that are in their 30s and their biggest goal in life is to go to the hottest parties at the hottest clubs.

Philadelphia doesn't even have a good nightlife. Our nightlife is actually the butt of many jokes in cities that have a great nightlife.

Ok wow, my rant has gone way off subject now. Let me yes...from now on, I am staying away from you as much as I can. I can't believe how many times I have nicely said hi to you without knowing you were the source of this rumor.

Ok, now that I am already hating on this one guy, I might as well hate on a few more.

What is up with these creepy Facebook guys and their creepy messages?


Ok, well I don't want you or that creepy picture of Obama in my inbox.


Is this an incomplete sentence or bad grammar? I like free sex, but then again I've never paid for it... I will have to get back to you on that.

I really think this guy found me on Facebook by searching girls with a Jewish last name. Well guess what buddy? You're out of luck coz I dont believe in religion OR god. And do you really need me to reject you on Facebook, Skype, email, and on the phone?

If you spoil me anymore than EW does already, you would be considered a sugar daddy. And that's just not possible because you look like you're 18 years old.

I am delicious. I taste like strawberries :)

Ok I am done ranting. That felt damn good! All woman should have a rant about men once in a while. It's better than therapy!

Let me hear all your rants!


Rachel Kae said...

I hope every guy in the city reads this and hopes to change some bad qualities about themselves for us.

Picy GreatestEver Rodriguez said...

I going to keep my mouth shut smh lol

John Kaufmann said...

I'll beat him up for you Julie!!

Anonymous said...

Facebook should be called Creepbook.Its amazing all the creepy leery guys that seem to be on Myspace and Facebook.I don't use these sites as it all seems to be creepy/lusty guys or people just trying to promote clubs,cd's etc.
At least Facebook is sort of more private and safe but Myspace is really bad with heaps of those sorts of guys with their comments.
Do they not have any role models or what?
The Jewish guy was cute and sounded sincere(or naive?) but how do you know that's even his real picture?
It could be someone steal someones photo.
The other guys you got messages from were just your average myspace/facebook resident creep......