June 21, 2010

First Class Or No Class?

You know the saying "Once you go black you never go back."?

Well, my new saying is "Once you go first class you'll never have a sore ass."

First class on a plane that is!!!

I finally got to fly first class on an International flight and OMG I did not know what I have been missing! I mostly fly first class but only to nearby locations such as Puerto Rico, Miami, Vegas, etc. But I have never flown in first class to an over seas location because frankly I think $5,000-$6,000 per person is RIDICULOUS.

With that kind of money I could get a boob job!

I thought first class would be slightly different with maybe some better food, free alcohol, and a seat that reclined a few inches more. But noooooo, it's like a whole different world in the front of the plane that all of the coach people have no clue about!!!

Is ignorance bliss???? No..the front of the plane is bliss!

When we boarded the plane, we found our seats which looked like futuristic gray pods. They were the brand new seats that lay down completely flat at 180 degrees.

I ripped open my blanket out of its package as I always do, planes are damn cold, and it was a damn comforter. Not one of those tissue paper thin blankets that you usually get in coach. It was like a thick, quilted comforter that was so long you could cuddle in it.

I'm in love already!!!

The next thing I noticed was my huge, personal flat screen/touch screen TV. I suddenly felt guilty for having such a huge, beautiful TV while the people in coach had those dinky 10in screens, but then I got distracted by a stewardess shoving a menu in my face.

WHAT?? A menu??? I looked at EW like WTF? He was totally amused by my bewilderment coz he has never traveled abroad in coach.

The menu showed everything that we were going to get served during our flight.

First we got nuts which were...get this....warmed and roasted. Fuck coach stewardesses who give us cold nuts in stupid baggies.

Next, we had a choice of chilled shrimp w/lemon and cocktail sauce or air-dried beef w/sun dried tomato and grilled artichoke heart.

I got the beef and EW got the shrimp cocktail. We also got some sparkling wine and a Sauvignon Blanc. BTW this is just the appetizer!

Next, we had some bread rolls and a Mesculan Salad w/sun-dried tomato vinaigrette. Damn, shouldn't have been a pig and eaten that pizza at the airport because now I was stuffed.

And for our main course we had three choices: Salmon, Pasta, Chicken, or Rib-eye.

I chose the seared salmon w/tomato saffron sauce, grilled shrimp, potato and vegetable lasagna, sauteed baby spinach and veggies. Just to remind you..this is on an airplane in case you forgot! Stop salivating...

I only ate half of my dinner because was so stuffed and sleepy from the wine. So I resorted to watching Harry Potter until I fell asleep.

I woke up to even more food sitting on my arm rest! Blah these prissy people are frickin pigs. Why must they eat so much????

I took 2 bites of the pie, ate half of the sandwich and bolted to the bathroom for obvious reasons.

As I opened the bathroom door, which was a normal door and not one of those stupid fold-in doors on coach, I was awestruck by the size of the room. The bathroom was at least 3 times bigger than any airplane bathroom I have ever been in. I could have laid down flat on the floor and still had room to move around. And best of all, there was a full length mirror on the back of the door so you could watch yourself go to the bathroom! I don't know why you would want to but it was still pretty cool.

Watched movies for the rest of the flight. Two great movies I suggest renting are "It'sComplicated" and "How To Train Your Dragon"

The fruit/cheese cart and the dessert cart passed by me twice but I was so full, I had to say no to the deliciousness :(


A few hours went by...

Then came....of course....MORE FOOD...breakfast, my fav meal of the day!

First we got a salmon, avocado and tomato salad.

EW put his on a piece of bread (he does that with all of his food) so I copied him and it was soooo good and fresh.

Then we had our omelets which I was really disappointed with. It was very oily or buttery, I don't know which. It made me feel like I was eating a piece of lard BLAH, but the potatoes and mushroom caps were delicious.

After breakfast I noticed the stewardesses were running around frantically and then came a scary announcement.
"If there are any doctors on the plane, please report to the main cabin"

OMG, is someone dying?? They kept running back and forth to coach with orange juice then chocolate then a fucking oxygen tank. I heard them talking about someone shaking and sweating profusely.

Everyone sitting in first class seemed totally oblivious to what was going on except for me. I was the only one freaking out as usual.

Turns out there was a diabetic on the plane that was having an attack but everything turned out alright.

That made me wonder though...what the hell happens if someone dies on a plane??? I googled it and what I found out is quite disturbing.

The pilot can only do an emergency landing if someone is in an unstable condition. And since death is considered a pretty stable condition, they will not land a plane. So what do they do with the body? Well if nobody on board notices that the person died, the regular procedure is to leave him/her in their seat until the end of the flight!!

Can you imagine not knowing that you have been sitting next to a corpse for 10 hours!! So wrong on many levels!!

At the end of the flight they just wheel the corpse out in a wheel chair as if he/she is still sleeping. Fucking airlines will do anything to save money these days.

So if you are flying over seas, FLY FIRST CLASS. There is no other way to fly, just make sure you starve for 5 days before hand.

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1 comment:

LynSire ♛ said...

I enjoyed reading this!! I had no idea flying first class had so many advantages!! All the food looks so yummy!! Thank God that person got well.