June 21, 2010

First Class Or No Class?

You know the saying "Once you go black you never go back."?

Well, my new saying is "Once you go first class you'll never have a sore ass."

First class on a plane that is!!!

I finally got to fly first class on an International flight and OMG I did not know what I have been missing! I mostly fly first class but only to nearby locations such as Puerto Rico, Miami, Vegas, etc. But I have never flown in first class to an over seas location because frankly I think $5,000-$6,000 per person is RIDICULOUS.

With that kind of money I could get a boob job!

I thought first class would be slightly different with maybe some better food, free alcohol, and a seat that reclined a few inches more. But noooooo, it's like a whole different world in the front of the plane that all of the coach people have no clue about!!!

Is ignorance bliss???? No..the front of the plane is bliss!

When we boarded the plane, we found our seats which looked like futuristic gray pods. They were the brand new seats that lay down completely flat at 180 degrees.

I ripped open my blanket out of its package as I always do, planes are damn cold, and it was a damn comforter. Not one of those tissue paper thin blankets that you usually get in coach. It was like a thick, quilted comforter that was so long you could cuddle in it.

I'm in love already!!!

The next thing I noticed was my huge, personal flat screen/touch screen TV. I suddenly felt guilty for having such a huge, beautiful TV while the people in coach had those dinky 10in screens, but then I got distracted by a stewardess shoving a menu in my face.

WHAT?? A menu??? I looked at EW like WTF? He was totally amused by my bewilderment coz he has never traveled abroad in coach.

The menu showed everything that we were going to get served during our flight.

First we got nuts which were...get this....warmed and roasted. Fuck coach stewardesses who give us cold nuts in stupid baggies.

Next, we had a choice of chilled shrimp w/lemon and cocktail sauce or air-dried beef w/sun dried tomato and grilled artichoke heart.

I got the beef and EW got the shrimp cocktail. We also got some sparkling wine and a Sauvignon Blanc. BTW this is just the appetizer!

Next, we had some bread rolls and a Mesculan Salad w/sun-dried tomato vinaigrette. Damn, shouldn't have been a pig and eaten that pizza at the airport because now I was stuffed.

And for our main course we had three choices: Salmon, Pasta, Chicken, or Rib-eye.

I chose the seared salmon w/tomato saffron sauce, grilled shrimp, potato and vegetable lasagna, sauteed baby spinach and veggies. Just to remind you..this is on an airplane in case you forgot! Stop salivating...

I only ate half of my dinner because was so stuffed and sleepy from the wine. So I resorted to watching Harry Potter until I fell asleep.

I woke up to even more food sitting on my arm rest! Blah these prissy people are frickin pigs. Why must they eat so much????

I took 2 bites of the pie, ate half of the sandwich and bolted to the bathroom for obvious reasons.

As I opened the bathroom door, which was a normal door and not one of those stupid fold-in doors on coach, I was awestruck by the size of the room. The bathroom was at least 3 times bigger than any airplane bathroom I have ever been in. I could have laid down flat on the floor and still had room to move around. And best of all, there was a full length mirror on the back of the door so you could watch yourself go to the bathroom! I don't know why you would want to but it was still pretty cool.

Watched movies for the rest of the flight. Two great movies I suggest renting are "It'sComplicated" and "How To Train Your Dragon"

The fruit/cheese cart and the dessert cart passed by me twice but I was so full, I had to say no to the deliciousness :(


A few hours went by...

Then came....of course....MORE FOOD...breakfast, my fav meal of the day!

First we got a salmon, avocado and tomato salad.

EW put his on a piece of bread (he does that with all of his food) so I copied him and it was soooo good and fresh.

Then we had our omelets which I was really disappointed with. It was very oily or buttery, I don't know which. It made me feel like I was eating a piece of lard BLAH, but the potatoes and mushroom caps were delicious.

After breakfast I noticed the stewardesses were running around frantically and then came a scary announcement.
"If there are any doctors on the plane, please report to the main cabin"

OMG, is someone dying?? They kept running back and forth to coach with orange juice then chocolate then a fucking oxygen tank. I heard them talking about someone shaking and sweating profusely.

Everyone sitting in first class seemed totally oblivious to what was going on except for me. I was the only one freaking out as usual.

Turns out there was a diabetic on the plane that was having an attack but everything turned out alright.

That made me wonder though...what the hell happens if someone dies on a plane??? I googled it and what I found out is quite disturbing.

The pilot can only do an emergency landing if someone is in an unstable condition. And since death is considered a pretty stable condition, they will not land a plane. So what do they do with the body? Well if nobody on board notices that the person died, the regular procedure is to leave him/her in their seat until the end of the flight!!

Can you imagine not knowing that you have been sitting next to a corpse for 10 hours!! So wrong on many levels!!

At the end of the flight they just wheel the corpse out in a wheel chair as if he/she is still sleeping. Fucking airlines will do anything to save money these days.

So if you are flying over seas, FLY FIRST CLASS. There is no other way to fly, just make sure you starve for 5 days before hand.

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June 10, 2010

Blinging My Stuff

I recently have become obsessed with something kind of silly.


After buying my crystal iphone case in Vegas for $99 (reduced from $150) I fell in love with the shiny, crystal, girly look of it and decided to buy a similar case for my Canon Powershot.

The photo really doesn't do the iphone justice. The crystals are so shiny and sparkle in the light when you move it. So pretty.

I searched for the Canon crystal case for like 50 million hours online and no stupid crystal cases were available! Usually I can find anything through Google, but they just don't make them.

I did find a website that will bling anything that you send them but the prices are ridiculous, like $1,000 to bling your laptop...WTF? Or $700 to bling your phone!!!!!!

So being the masterful artist that I am, I decided to bling my own damn stuff!!! FOR FREE...plus the cost of gems and glue :)

And here began my new obsession...blinging everything I own. It's like damn crack to me, I can't stop and I estimate in about 5 years, my entire house will be blinged out.

I forced EW to take me to AC Moore to buy little rhinestones and they had the saddest collection of rhinestones I have ever seen. They looked all cheap and plastic, and not very shiny. I NEED SHINY!!

I bought a bunch of pink ones anyway because I'm impatient and needed to start blinging right away. Plus the pink ones kind of matched my laptop. I figure I can buy the nice Swarovski ones later online.


The first thing I blinged out was my Canon Powershot. I was really worried to do it because what if the gems just fall off after the glue dries? Then I will be stuck with a $250 camera with a bunch of dried-up glue gunk all over it...bleh.

So I followed the instructions very carefully. Here is what I used to bling out my camera.



First, I applied the glue all over the surface of the camera with a satay stick. You can use anything really, toothpick..chopstick..your finger...ok maybe not your finger.

Then carefully, one by one, I glued the gems all over the surface. I used large 5mm gems because was too afraid to use little ones for my first time. And now I kind of regret it because smaller ones would have made a better more sparly effect. Oh well.

Here is what it looks like post blinging!

Sorry for the horrible picture but I obviously can't take a photo of my Canon with my Canon so had to use my phone to take the pic thus blurry.

I love! Now I def have the cutest cam out of anyone I know. Ok, it's a little sloppy looking but it's my first time and I will get better I promise.

My next blinging venture was my laptop. EW got me a pink laptop for my bday and I absolutely love it but it needed something extra. Something sparkly extra!!

I used the pink cheap rhinestones from AC Moore and spent about an hour blinging it. And OMG, it seriously looks soooo good. Very professionally done and I'm very proud of myself.

I had a few rhinestones left over (Ok maybe like 3 bags leftover, I def bought too many), so I decided to bling my mouse too.

Can you tell my obsession is getting bad yet???


Ok, now I am sitting here like a crackhead going through withdraw because I have no clue what to bling next! I already blinged out all of my electronics and I am certain EW won't let me bling out his phone, cam, or laptop.

UGH! What to do..what to doo??

I'm thinking of maybe blinging the edge of our flat screen tv? No.. EW would murder me in my sleep. How about my toothbrush?? No, water would get under little gems and grow mold..gross.

I could bling the back side of EW's underwear and he would never know because what guy looks at his ass in uderwear! Hah, he would be walking around with a blinged butt and not even know hahaha.

Ok back to being serious, I think I need some more time to think about it before I go bling crazy. If anyone wants something blinged..call me!!! I'll do it for cheap and not $1,000 like those stupid rip off people :)

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June 07, 2010

Freaky Nighttime Terrors

A few years ago, something so freaky happened to me that it just needs to be told. I was sleeping in bed with my mom coz I had just gotten my nose done and needed round the clock care. I remember feeling a lightning bolt sensation shoot through my body and then all of a sudden I was awake.

Well, it was weird actually. My eyes opened, but I couldn't feel or move my body. I could see the ceiling above me but couldn't say anything. It was as if my mind was awake but my body was still in dream mode.

At this point I was freaking out thinking that I am being abducted by aliens or something when all of a sudden I felt a heavy sensation pressing down on my chest like someone was holding me down.

And then, the flashes!!! Camera flashes!!! Coming from the ceiling were hundreds of camera flashes with their clicking noises. I screamed as loud as I could but my mouth would not move so all that came out was a strained gurgle.

So many things ran through my mind...is this an alien abduction...will they take me and perform weird science crap on me...will my mom miss me...will they ruin my new nose...will it hurt....this is so not fair...why me?

Then with a huge jolt, my body came back to life. I sat up in bed and looked at my mom who was staring at me like she had just witnessed a murder.

Mom: What the hell was that? Why were you staring at the ceiling and making weird noises? Are the pain killers making you hallucinate?

Me: The flashes! Did you not see the flashes? They held me down and took pictures...(slowly realize I sound insane)...ok um nevermind, it must have been a dream.

FYI, This was not a dream!

I was fully awake, my eyes were wide open, and I could move my eyeballs and look around the room even.

For a long time I blamed the Oxycontin I was taking for my nose job until a few years later it happened again!

I was sleeping alone in my apartement when all of a sudden it happened. My eyes open and my body locks up. I see a green gremlin face in front of me and I can hear its screams inside my head. The screams are so loud and I feel like something horrible is about to happen.

This time around I was smart though. I knew that if I willed myself to wake up, that I would. I tried my hardest to move my arms and after a few seconds, with a big jolt, I was fully awake.

Ok I know I sound totally insane right now! But I am not!!! I finally did some research and there is a condition that causes all of this craziness.

It's called Sleep Paralysis

Sometimes, the mind disconnects too early or too late from the body, leaving you unable to move voluntarily. This temporary condition is called sleep paralysis, and it usually subsides after a minute or two.

Sleep paralysis is harmless, it can be terrifying, especially if you don't know what's happening to you. Someone experiencing an episode may have hallucinations, or have the feeling that someone is in the room or sitting on his/her chest.

I knew I wasn't completely off my rocker!

I almost feel special that I have this cool freaky disorder thing.

BTW, there are people who become paralyzed for hours at a time! Fuck me...

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June 01, 2010

I Visit The City Of Mardi Gras And Boobs - New Orleans

-I ate crawfish this weekend!

-I went into a swamp with alligators this weekend!

-I corrupted my liver with 190 Octane''s this weekend!
Guess where I was?? Yep..

New Orleans

Or as the locals call it...Nawlin's. If you say it all touristy like I did "New Orleeeeeens", they will laugh at you silently.

So EW had another business trip, and OF COURSE I tagged along. One day, he is going to tell me I'm a pain in the butt when I tag along with him on his travels. And that will be the day I accuse him of cheating on me with many woman in different cities!

We stayed at the W Hotel in the French Quarter. It was unlike any W I have ever stayed at because it was originally an old mansion that got turned into a hotel. Whoever lived in that building when it was a mansion was stupid rich.

The hotel had a cute courtyard for the guests to relax outside with the signature W purple color splashed all around.

In the center of a courtyard was an old fashioned (weird for W Hotel) fountain that had fire spewing out of it. I'm sorry but I do not want to see any kind of fire in 95 degree weather. Why can't it be spewing gatorade or an icy mist?

At the very end of the courtyard there was a big outdoor grand staircase that led up the guest's rooms. EW always asks me why I pose with my hands on my hips. Because it makes my arm fat go away duh!

The pool was tiny because it was originally a home so we spent most of our time tanning. EW as always on his phone working while tanning blah. Get off your phone and look at the pretty girl next to you!

The first thing we did was go have some breakfast. But first me taking pictures of myself in bathroom while waiting for EW to get ready.

Should the girl take longer to get ready than the guy..what the hell?

Ok, that's enough. Breakfast was so good. I wasn't going to eat but ended up eating like half the food. The french toast was almost cake-like consistency. They tried charging us $3 more for egg whites in our omelette. WHAT? No thanks! I know $3 is nothing but it's the ripping you off thing that annoys me. You can buy a whole carton of eggs for $3. I think...

After breakfast we headed to the French Quarter. We passed by world famous Cafe Du Monde and saw the 200+ person line and I couldn't help but laugh at the suckers standing and waiting.

I've been to Cafe Du Monde before and their coffee isn't any better than your local diner. And the beignet....well they are just funnel cake cleverly disguised as more important sounding pastries!

Also saw this awesome sign that was selling "big ass beers". Is that the name of the brand or are they really just BIG ASS beers?

Then I saw this sign and instantly wanted a "big ass beer" to go. Why can't Philly have big ass beers to go? Or even better, Cosmpolitans to go. Or the best idea of all, have alcohol delivered right to your door.

For those of you who have no clue what the French Quarter market is, it's basically a huge market that sells a ton of dead alligator heads, cajun food, fake label bags, cheap jewelry and a ton of other stuff. It's kind of like if Soho shopping and New Orleans had a baby.

Dead alligator heads! Only $7.99! I couldn't resist buying one for my cousin. Have no clue what she is going to do with it. Maybe use it as cup holder?

Tons of fresh organic food to choose from.

Jackson Square was nearby so had to get a picture there.

Had to get a flying pic also. Didn't actually go inside the Jackson Square churches because not religious and totally don't care about seeing inside of church for the 500th time. When I lived in Ukraine for 6 months, I was forced to see a new church every week. They all look the same!!

We did so much walking we had to refuel with some real Nawlin's food. I was craving boiled crawfish for a week before going there and when we finally got to the place where they served them to us last time I was there, they didn't have any :(

The next best thing was something called "crawfish ettouffe" which I thought would be some kind of crawfish soufflee? But it turned out to be really really good. Creamy and delicious.

On the way back to the hotel, we saw these adorable fully grown ponies!!! It was like a life-size my little pony omg they were so cute. Expensive though, they were like $1,500-$4,000 so EW said I couldn't have one. Picture with them was all I got.

The next day we went to the Aquarium which is 100X better than the Baltimore Aquarium. I took so many cool pics, but will only bore you with a few.

We took a trolley thing which was pretty brave of me...public transportation is yuck and freaks me out. But this trolley was clean and well kept.

Me with a fake sea horse!

A real sea horse! This little dude was smaller than half my pinky finger. And for those who know me, know I have tiny little fingers.

This little f*!@^er was so hard to take a picture of. I had to turn off the flash, set the cam on macro and take like 50 shots with my hand completely still before I got one good shot of him. I figure it's a him because a girl wouldn't be that annoying to take a photo of.

A big eel/condom/deflated penis looking thing.

And some naughty parrots that were totally caressing and biting each other's necks in front of the children.

After the aquarium, we took an airboat to the swampy water of Nawlin's to see some Alligators!

It was my 3rd time going on this tour so I knew what to expect. Well, besides the crazy thunder/rainstorm when the boat took off! It's ok, it cleared up after 30 minutes or so and we got to see some big, scary alligators.

These huge monsters ate....people...no, but really they ate marshmallows. They are absolutely obsessed with marshmallows and if one is thrown into the swamp, you better believe an alligator will slowly pop his head out of the water and start chomping.

Our tour guide even caught a little baby alligator (actually he was 3 years old but he looks like a baby) and we all got to hold him. Surprisingly, he was soft and warm, not cold and scaly like I thought it would be.

Beautiful sunset to end our tour. Very important to appreciate sunsets once in a while.

We did get to have some late night fun as well on Bourbon St. That place is seriously like a 24/7 Mardi Gras. The streets are jam packed with drunk assholes who keep asking you to show your boobs. Like do they really think I would show my boobs for a 2 cent plastic necklace?

Mardi Grad flashing HAD to have been invented by some college dude. It's the ultimate deal for any guy. Instead of paying $20 to see boobs at a stripclub, you pay 2 cents to see boobs, and you can even touch!

All those bras...no wonder there are so many woman walking around with saggy gross boobs.

And of course we had to try the famous 190 Octane drink. One big cup, shared between the both of us, got us drunk enough to the point where I considered showing my boobs...Hah..never!

Another night we went to Whiskey Blue located inside the W. It was alright, nothing special.

And another night we went to Metropolitan (deluded banquet hall that thinks it's a nightclub) and Republic (too drunk to remember anything).

From these two nightclubs, which were the "hottest" clubs in New Orleans, I concur that New Orlean's upscale nightlife is sadder than Philly's. Makes me feel a little better about living in Philly!

I felt so out of place at both clubs. Ew and I were too "city" for the people there if you know what I mean. Can't explain it. Lets just say the people were very "simple".

Hmm, I wonder if people from Miami and Vegas say that about us Philly folk? :)

Ok, this post is way too long.....

News Update: I will be traveling to the most exciting place I have been to in 8 years two weeks from now!!!!